Mabel's work life balance is buggered
Mabel is a good girl.
As a child she mostly did as she was told.
She worked hard.
Parents were proud of her, teachers gave her As, friends admired her energy and bosses have relied on her.
If she took the time to think about it she’d think she’s doing pretty well in life.
But she has no time. Or energy.
Instead of wanting to meet up with friends or spend time with her kids all she wants is a night of undisturbed sleep.
She can’t remember the last time she really laughed. Or exercised. Read a book. Cooked a proper meal.
She feels like she isn’t doing anything very well. When she finally sits down at night she feels sick wondering what she’s forgotten. Her capacity to deal with anything is at zero. There’s nothing left.
Mabel’s work life balance is buggered.
WORKING LONG HOURS = WORKING LONG HOURS
I’m normally crap at equations but I know this one. I also know that working longs doesn’t equal feeling on top of everything.
Working long hours usually means that you have to continue to work long hours to prevent a breakdown.
Once you’ve developed a fucked up, society approved, habit of overwork it can feel too bloody difficult to change it.
When work’s become all consuming, sucking every single bit of joy out of your life then ask yourself this question…
Do I want my life to look and feel like this in 6 months time? What would be the impact of that on me emotionally, physically, mentally?
If the answer isn’t one you like then you do need to do something because the company you work for (and by company I mean people) aren’t doing it for you. They’ll just keep piling it all on.
Because overwork has been celebrated forever. And, despite the platitudes, corporate sponsored therapy and summer working hours you are still being asked to do more.
Most leaders are currently chasing short term financial results, introducing recruitment freezes and changing priorities. Your work life balance is not waking them up at 2 in the morning.
Do you feel sick at the thought of working slightly less? Like it’s all going to fall apart?
Of course you do. Because this is the habit you’ve formed to help you hold on.
But if you working a few hours less a week means things fall apart then I reckon you’re massively underpaid.
Plus let’s turn this around. Is you working a few hours making any difference really to your workload/how you feel about work?
The work’s not going away, so why not work a little less, do a few things that bring a bit more joy into your life and get some rest.
You’ll have more energy to tackle work if you walk away from it. And also fuck em. They don’t own you.
You know I love a small change
…but does this feel like a huge fuck off spring clean of your life?
Start small. It works.
‘Working with Nicola has been life changing. Taking small steps has enabled me to finally deal with the ridiculous hours I was working and has transformed my work life balance’.
You can try and go from 60 hours a week to a 35 if you want. But that’s a huge behavioural shift. If you don’t manage it the first week you’re likely to give up.
And I don’t want that for you.
One small thing that you can do
Look ahead to next week and pick one evening that you will log off at [reasonable time/earlier than you’ve been doing].
Make a promise to yourself that no matter what you’ll do it.
Supporting actions:
Block out your calendar from 15 minutes before you intend to log off
Tell everyone. And by tell I mean tell, not ask for permission
Consider telling everyone why you’re doing it - role modelling boundaries gives permission for others to do the same. The ripple effect of this is amazing
Have a plan for what you’re going to do as soon as you log off (at least initially). It can be going to the gym with a mate to sitting in the garden for 10 minutes doing absolutely nothing. But have a plan
Repeat it every week. Make this date a habit
Reflect on the impact on how you felt, your thinking and behaviour. This is feedback and it reinforces behaviour
If that date/time didn’t work, pick a different date/time
Start small and build rather than going all out in your first week