9 Ways to get out of your head
I managed to stay in the moment during a three day cooking holiday in Tuscany.
This might not sound much but I spend a lot of time tied up with my thoughts. There are many side effects to this. One of them is spending much of a holiday thinking about being back home and what I have on rather than enjoying the moment. That then leads to further thoughts such as ‘What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just enjoy the moment?’ Sound familiar?
Thoughts of themselves are innocuous. They are just thoughts. Little words that fly around. But, when they give rise to unhelpful emotions and behaviour they can stop us from enjoying the richness of our lives.
I don’t have the answer to help you dispel them forever. There is no answer for that. But what I do have for you are XX things that you can practice when your thoughts are causing you to second guess yourself, procrastinate, feel crappy and just basically making your life miserable.
Finding your own way
Before I offer up some practical advice I want to say approach this with curiosity. Some things will work better than others for you. And things that didn’t work one week might work a different week. I have a basketful of things that I can do. I reach for the one that I’m drawn to and tend to practice that for a while. Also don’t beat yourself if you drop it for a while. Maybe it’s because you don’t need it. But it’s always there for you to go back to when you do.
Getting present is the antidote to seemingly uncontrollable thoughts
Practising presence has been a five year journey for me. Here are a few ideas for you.
Get into your body and out of your head
Step foot outside and go for a run or walk and look up. Focus on what you see around you. Being out in nature (even if you live in an overcrowded city like me) has a particularly meditative effect .
Engage all five of your senses, one by one. This is a great grounding technique to practice.
If you don’t have time to go out then walk to a window and look out and focus in on everything that you can see.
Detach from your thoughts
Our aim is to create emotional distance from our thoughts so that they are seen for what they are - just thoughts – rather than feeling that they are part of who we are.
Journal – either as soon as you wake up (if you’re finding that you wake up mid thought) or just before you go to bed (if you have trouble sleeping). Set your timer for five minutes and then just write. Just get words out on paper.
I’ve provided you a recording called Leaves on a Stream – listen to this regularly if you’re finding your thoughts particularly problematic
When you notice you’ve been on what I call a ‘thought spiral’ take a breath and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, you are the person listening to them. Eckhart Tolle and Michael Singer are particularly good in this area if you want to learn more.
Turn your attention to the positive
If you’re being flooded with a lot of negative thoughts sometimes we may need to intentionally focus on the positive
3 achievements – at the end of each day write down 3 things that you’ve achieved, no matter how small. This is particularly good if you are feeling overwhelmed or beating yourself up for not doing as much as you wanted
Gratitude – start your day writing down what you are grateful for. When you write this spend a few moments emotionally engaging with it
Acknowledge yourself – start your day by writing 3 things you want to acknowledge yourself for.