I’m not invisible you know
For those of you who follow me on social media you’ll know I asked a few questions about feedback. Thanks to all of you who responded. It confirmed what I was feeling about the impact of getting feedback that you need to be more visible. But before I get into that and what you can do with such vague nonsense let’s take a step back.
Feedback should be motivational
The purpose of feedback is to help you to grow. If you subscribe to the philosophy that life is about continuous learning (and I’m assuming you do or you wouldn’t be reading this 😊) then receiving feedback should leave you motivated. If it doesn’t then several things could be going on.
Why are you telling me this?
Do you believe that the person giving you feedback really cares about your development? Do they have your interests at heart? If you don’t believe this, then it’s likely that there isn’t sufficient trust between you to make feedback meaningful (in the right way).
Am I doing anything well?
If all you’re receiving is constructive feedback, it’s hard to keep motivated. But even if you get the positive reinforcement that may not be enough. According to research you should be receiving 6 positive comments to one negative comment to enable you to take on board the negative. What’s the ratio for you?
Vagueness
From my experience a person’s seniority does not mean they are great at giving feedback. Feedback needs to be very clear and grounded in examples. Do you understand the feedback that you are receiving?
Lack of support
You may understand and agree with the feedback given but there’s been no exploration of how you can address it. Good line managers should be coaching you to think deeply about how you can move forwards and ask what support you need from them.
No thinking time allowed
Constructive feedback can create a very emotional reaction in us, often because it triggers something very personal. What’s needed here is some time and space to let it sink in and process your emotions. Are you being given space to reflect on the feedback you’ve received?
Hello…hello…. I’m here
Let’s turn to the feedback that you need to be more visible. This is one of the most popular things that my clients have been told they need to work on. And yet…. rarely is that feedback motivational. Out of those of you who’ve received this feedback two-thirds said that you didn’t understand it and felt confused. And none of you found it motivational.
What is visibility anyway?
What do we think people mean by being visible? The dictionary defines it as the ‘state of being seen.’ If we translate this into work (within the context of feedback) it’s about senior people knowing who you are, what you do and that you’re good at your job. Why’s that important? Because they are the ones that are likely to be signing off on any promotions or providing you with future career opportunities. And if they are serious about developing talent – it’s their bloody job to know.
Assuming the senior people above you aren’t arseholes if you are performing well, and your line manager takes your development seriously then surely, you’d be visible? As one senior leader said to me last week about his direct report ‘If you’re not visible to my peers and bosses then that’s something I need to address.’ Amen.
Your line manager should be helping you to identify opportunities for you to interact with senior stakeholders (through shadowing, presenting, getting involved in projects) to prepare you for more senior roles. This gives you exposure to different types of thinking, broader strategic business issues and an opportunity for you to assess whether this is actually what you want. And they should be advocating on your behalf.
Or is it just another way of preserving biases against women?
But the word visibility has become associated with self-serving internal networking with the sole purpose of ‘getting in’ with those who are powerful. It’s saying that you need to do the same old shit that men have been doing for years to get ahead. Blimey it’s no wonder a lot of you felt uncomfortable when you got the visibility feedback.
Who does feel comfortable being this kind of ‘visible?’ The types that look like those in senior roles. So, who’s likely to not feel comfortable? Those that are not like those in senior roles. The feedback to be visible could be seen as being the opposite of inclusivity.
A few years ago, I sat in a senior talent mapping meeting and the statement ‘they’re just not visible enough’ was never levied at men.
Questions to help you respond to the visibility feedback
If I was visible what would be different?
What does ‘being visible’ mean practically?
Help me to understand this feedback so that I’m clear on how I can address it
What conversation are you having about me during talent mapping conversations?
How specifically will being more visible help me to achieve [insert business/career objectives]
Remember, we all deserve to be seen!