Happiness!
From votes of confidence to Ukraine to energy bills to NHS waiting lists. There’s a lot going on out there. And then we have the stuff going on in our personal lives. I mean IT IS A LOT. And then we have the thoughts pinging around our heads.
How do we even get up in the morning? But we do. We manage to move forward each day. Some days life feels good and some days not so much. This is the ebb and flow of life.
But for some of us we want to be able to ride that ebb and flow with more smiles than frowns. For some of us (and the self-help industry is worth billions so I reckon I can draw the conclusion that there’s a fair few of us) we want to know ‘How can I be happier?’
I’ve got good news for you – being happier is much easier than you think.
Always look on the bright side of life
Being happy isn’t always about finding the positive in things. It’s not about reframing your grandmother’s death into a learning opportunity for you. It is normal and healthy to freely (well kind of…but that’s another issue) feel and express emotions. We should ride them like waves.
But there are times when you need to actively seek out joy, happiness and positivity.
What are the signs that you need a little bit more sunshine in your life?
Look you know you. I know that generally I’m pretty okay and value the people and love in my life. But over the last few years I’ve definitely had periods where I’ve felt like I’ve been wading through a soup of grey, low-level mood. That’s my sign to get active. What’s yours?
Are you worrying more than usual about yesterday or tomorrow?
Are you experiencing anxiety/depression?
Are you finding that you’re not enjoying the things that you used to?
Are you criticizing yourself for being negative?
Are you generally being more critical of others?
This isn’t an exhaustive list (obviously as it really isn’t that long, is it?) and I’m not saying that positivity alone will cure depression. But one of the most significant contributions of positive psychology in counselling/therapy is the introduction of happiness as a treatment goal.
What is happiness anyway?
If you click through to one thing I reference today let it be this 10 minute video. Paul Dolan has spent a lot of his life looking at happiness and is bloody awesome. He discusses the difference between evaluating our lives as happy and our actual experiences of it.
Are you or have you ever thought ‘I don’t mind my job, I’ve got great family and friends, I’m doing okay so why am I not happy?’ We may think we should be happy but for some reason our moment-by-moment experiences are not bringing us pleasure and purpose.
So, you might have a great job. The dream job that you thought would make you happy. But if you work long hours, are stuck in meetings all day, can’t switch off from work and your boss treats you like crap are you actually happy? Probably not.
Happiness is the experience of pleasure and purpose in everyday life. It’s in the small stuff. It’s your partner bringing you a coffee in bed. A quick WhatsApp to a mate to check in with them. Noticing the first signs of spring as you walk the dog. Reading a book in the sun for 10 minutes. Your colleague saying thank you. A smile to a stranger.
How happy are you about your level of happiness?
If you’re interested in measuring your happiness try this quiz.
Or instead reflect on the last week and ask yourself how frequently did you actually experience moments of pleasure and purpose? Remember, this isn’t about the story you’d tell someone about how happy you are with your life – this is about your actual moment by moment experiences.
How can you increase your level of happiness?
The answer lies within you. But if you don’t know where to start here are four things you can all do.
The Dalai Lama is the Patron for Action for Happiness - a movement of people taking action to create a happier and kinder world. They have monthly calendars that contain small things that you can do each day to experience more moments of happiness in your life. They’re super simple – today is find joy in music: sing, play, dance, listen of share.
Gratitude journal – spending a few minutes each day turning your attention to what you’re grateful for has been proven to increase levels of happiness. But when you do this really take yourself back to the moment you are chronicling rather than just writing a quick list
Acts of kindness – helping others makes us happy. It could just be really smiling and saying thank you to someone.
Getting out in nature - it doesn’t have to be a hike up a mountain. A quick walk in the park can increase our levels of happiness
Here’s to a little bit more happiness for you all.
"Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life."
Benjamin Franklin